There are days that stay filed away in our memory. We can relive them minute by minute in our mind, and they come unbidden when we want them to stay locked away. Those days that hurt.
And then – there are those days that we can relive minute by minute in our heart. Memories that bring smiles and laughter, joy and gratitude. Today is a day like that – forty years ago I woke up thinking that my doctor was driving me crazy. Initially, he gave me a due date of May 24, and then he told me that my baby would be early, probably by the first of May. So, on May 24, I’m lumbering around the house, anxious and talking to my stomach. While my doctor and others had told me that I was having a girl (girls were usually first in my family), I knew in my heart this was my son. ‘I’m ready for you now! The room is perfect. Come on! It’s tight in there!’ And a kick, a strong kick. I still remember that kick and laughing about it.
Lying down in the afternoon for a short nap, I remembered a book that I wanted to get and rose from the bed. My water broke, and I remember vividly looking down at my big belly and thinking that I wouldn’t be able to hold you that close very much longer, inside, safe and warm. Fear, anticipation, and joy, all wrapped up into one emotion that threatened to break apart as a storm grows with thunder.
Several hours later – and yes, I remember them with smiles now! – I looked into the face that would take my breath away so many, many times. Happy Birthday, Chad. You brought a light into my world that is forever shining. Love you so very much, Mom.